The Ceremony
by trubholls25
Summary: Leslie Kelp is returning home for his manhood ceremony, and he has a small problem... Please read, you'll enjoy it! R
1. Chapter 1

Here's another fic, this time about Trouble's manhood ceremony and how he chooses his name. After reading, please REVIEW!

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I looked out of the moving train and sighed. _Trains_. Old, useless, and outdated junk, but Foaly had budget cuts again, and this was all the LEP could spare for the graduates. Not much of a prize, but we had made it. Finished the required LEP Academy training. All I had to do was turn sixty-six this weekend, and then I would have a job. Retrieval Fifty-Two [with a job as dangerous as Retrieval, the LEP had to keep a lot of reserves]. My dream, except for the fifty-two part. But, someday soon, I would be head of Retrieval One, and the Commander of the LEP. Well, maybe not so soon, but someday.

A shout jolted me from my inner musings, "Leslie! Over here, baby!" I sighed heavily. Leave it to Mother to find the worst way under the world to embarrass me at the station, in front off all my other classmates, er, colleagues. Knowing she would do something worse if I didn't answer, I jumped off the platform and headed towards my impatient, overprotective mother and kid brother.

"Hey Mum, Grub. Er, It's nice to see you," I grudgingly said.

Mum said excitedly, "Leslie Kelp! You are so like your father. I can't believe it's your manhood ceremony this weekend. It seems like only yesterday you were in diapers!"

"Mum! Stop talking about things like that. It's downright humiliating. Anyway, there's a lot more than that stupid manhood ceremony this weekend. I'm going to look for an apartment, and I just found out that I start at Retrieval Fifty-Two on Monday!"

"Oh, Lee, I wish you wouldn't be in Retrieval, but I am so proud. And don't think that just because you have a job that you have to move out. ALSO, your manhood ceremony is NOT stupid, or ridiculous, or any of those other awful names you have called it. It is a time-honored elfin tradition that you WILL be a part of. Leslie, I swear, if you don't take part it in, you will wish you had been killed by a troll on your first day in Retrieval instead. Understand?"

I despondently responded, "Alright, Mother. Honestly, though, the only good thing about that awful ceremony is that I can change my name to something other than silly, wimpy Leslie."

"You wouldn't dare! It's just a formality that that option is offered. No one has ever taken it. It would be a disgrace to the family name."

"Well, I don't give a Frond's butt about the family name. It's your fault that I'm stuck with an absurd name like Leslie. Do you know how long I have been teased about it? No matter what you say, I'm changing my name. It is my choice, anyway."

Mother's tight-lipped answer was, "We'll talk about this more at home."

Silently, she led the way to our small pod-car. It was Haven's newest trend, although the only reason we had one was that we _really_ needed a new car. Our last powder blue, beat-up clunker had to be at least fifty years old. I climbed into the back seat, careful not to aggravate Mum any more than usual.

I was the family breadwinner, with athletic records and excellent grades, but Grub was and had always been Mum's favorite. He also worshipped the ground I walked on, unfortunately. He followed me everywhere, never speaking but noting my every action. Grub mimicked all of my decisions, which was unfortunate for he was inept at just about everything except eating. I tried to be friendly, and asked, "What's up?" No answer. Typical.

During the ride home, the car was quiet. I am kind of out of place in my family, the odd one out. Mother and Grub enjoyed poetry, I played crunchball and almost failed Language Arts my first year of high school. I loved horror and action flicks, Grub and Mum started crying at commercials with dogs in them. The only person who had ever really understood me was Holly. Holly Rosemary Short. She had been my girlfriend my second year of high school, but I had had to leave for the country just before Spring Formal because of Grub's allergies. I hadn't seen her since. Though we had both dreamed about going to the LEP academy, there were two in Haven alone. The main one was closer to the country [where I had gone], and the other on sat smack in the middle of Haven's busy downtown [where Holly would have gone]. Maybe I could see her again when I started at the LEP. I was sure she had graduated from the Academy- in high school, she had usually beaten me in all areas- especially gym.

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Weird place to stop, I know, but it was too long for a one-shot. Whatever you think, just REVIEW please!


	2. Chapter 2

Really short update, but again, it is a weird length. Kindly review!

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When we pulled up at the small, somewhat dilapidated apartment building, I still didn't speak to Mother. It would serve her right, since she was ordering me around and all. As we climbed up the stairs, entered the living room, and even when we sat down for dinner, my voice remained unused. The first chance to escape, I took, and slammed [and locked] the door to my miniscule room. [It was actually a guest room, since I had been living at the Academy.] Even though there were many calls of "Leslie!!" and "Darling, I'm sorry, but it's not fair to stop talking to your own **family**!" I remained silent.

I got through the next day and a half by walking around in a kind of trance. At any given time, I probably didn't know half of what was going on. As distant relatives started arriving at the seedy hotel next store for my manhood ceremony, I greeted them mechanically, giving noncommittal answers to all questions. Mostly, I evaded all forms of life by hiding out in whatever available space- usually a closet, bathroom, or cabinet. Hey, I didn't go to the LEP Academy for nothing- some of the skills I learned were really useful for avoidance, even if I wasn't getting paid for it or saving lives.

Two hours before the start of my ceremony, I began to freak out. There was a speech I was supposed to give [procrastination has never helped me], and I was still trying to win Mother over about the name change. Worse yet, I hadn't found a suitable name to change to. On top of all that, Mother hurriedly began to dress me in a tux and tried to fix my unruly hair. Needless to say, it wasn't going well for her.

"Mum, I can do this in about five minutes. I have to spend some time working on my speech!"

"Leslie, you were supposed to have finished that months ago! Oh well, you always have been good at winging it. Right now we have to get you looking presentable."

Sighing, for once I submitted to my Mother's styling products. With five minutes to spare, we were rushing out the door. _Maybe Mum's right_, I thought, _I __**can **__wing it_. Famous last words.

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More coming soon! Push the review button,you know you want to! Review!!


	3. Chapter 3

Here's the last part. Let me know if I should do a sequel or not. Review!

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Twenty minutes into the ceremony

The officiator spoke, "Do you, Leslie Marian," [what can I say, my Mother wanted a girl], "Vow to up hold the laws of Haven during your manhood."

"I do," In the front row, tears were welling up in my mother's eyes. You'd think I was being married or something. What can I say; my mum's an emotional elf.

"Now for the traditional questions: Do you wish to be disowned? Do you wish to receive a fill-in to write your own obituary? Do you wish to change your name? Do you wish to speak?"

Obviously, the official was accustomed to having fairies that only wanted to speak. But I was different. "No, no, yes, and yes. I will speak after the name change."

Astonished, the bureaucratic gnome managed to stutter, "A name change? That is unheard of-but I'm sure the form is in here somewhere," and began leafing through his papers. In the audience, my mother looked stunned, "Ahh, yes, here we are," the gnome began, "You, Leslie Marian Kelp, would like your name to be…"

I nervously began searching my mind for an all right name. Bill? No, too common. George? No, not my style. William? No, too old and stuffy. Desperate, I started to think of comments teachers had made about me. They knew me well, perhaps I could use a characteristic as a name, like Happy, one of the seven dwarves [don't laugh, I actually know the guy that played him in the movie].

Aha! I felt a sudden brainwave go through me. I had it, the right name for me. It was based on something the LEP Commander Root had said…

Flashback

"Exam results today! You will be called before the panel of judges- Wing Commander Vinyaya and LEP Commander Root. They will let you know about your placement," called a sprite hovering above the auditorium crowd.

I shivered in my seat from excitement. This was the day that would make all the work worth it. If I made it, that is. But I had spent so much time improving my skills, I was sure I would be accepted into Retrieval.

"Kelp, Leslie!" shouted a teacher. I was hurried into a small, dry, dusty room before the two legendary figures. All I could do was gaze up at them in awe.

Wing Commander Vinyaya did most of the talking, "Hmm… let me see, oh yes, Leslie Kelp. Results: Flying- 96%, Tactics: 93%, Combat: 99%, Stealth: 90%, Strategy: 97%, Battle History: 89%, Cooking: 77%. Looks like you'll make a good Retrieval jock- most don't pass Cooking. Just confirm this, Julius, and we'll move on."

Root spoke gruffly, "Kid, it looks like you've got what it takes, but prove it to me. You start on Retrieval Fifty-Two two weeks from today. From your flying report- well, you are nothing but trouble. Just what we need. And Vinyaya, honestly, WHAT did I say about calling me JULIUS!"

End of Flashback

That was it. Trouble. Perfect. "I would like the name Trouble. Trouble Kelp," In the crowd, it was too much for my poor mother. She keeled over from pure shock. Several elves rushed out to assist her.

The gnome spoke again, "Very well, Trouble, here are your new documents. You may speak, and then the official part of the ceremony will be over."

Hesitantly, I began my address, "I know most of you folks came here expecting another boring ritual, but I don't do boring. All my life I have been labeled with a name that doesn't fit. So I decided to choose one that does. I picked Trouble because…"

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Thanks for reading all the way through! REVIEW! Check out my other stories!

-trubholls25


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